Is it possible to overcompensate for your lack of intellectual depth or interesting personality by getting a toned body of our hottest celebrities? The most fit celebrities were interviewed by The Onion to find out their workout regimen.
The trainer asked if I wanted to confess to witchcraft while I put weights on my body. Although I am not going to die, the taste of martyrdom does wonders for my core.
Thanks to my athletic background in football and professional wrestling, I have got steroid connections.
There were ten jumping jacks over the course of a week.
Have you ever heard of HIIT? It stands for high-intensity interval training, and it is what I would do if my body wasn’t perfect with no effort on my part.
Kate Beckinsale discovered that instead of just doing one crunch, you can do several in a row. I am curious to see if it works for push-ups and squats, because it has really changed my fitness regimen.
Three times a day, I do a workout called “reverse bulking” in which I apply force to the back of my throat and flex my stomach muscles until my meal is gone.
The actress said that she had plastic surgery. What are you dumb, stupid?
Every weekend I drive to the park and hunt deer with no gloves on. The thrill of dominating a live animal, tasting fresh blood while the heart still beats, and watching the life slowly drain from its eyes is nothing compared to the rush of life. It helps to get my steps in.