Bill Eldridge wrote a book about a bat hunter.
I would like to borrow your eyeliner.
I used to carry a notebook and pens with me when I was a real reporter. I had a lot of pens in my car, a lot in my motorcycle, and a lot in my coat. The result was that my house would become filthy. It was like hundreds of them. There were 20 pens that spilled out of the cupboard door. To get a roll of toilet paper, you need to reach for it. You understand the concept. I don’t have a pen anymore because I use a recorder to take notes, and I can’t find one. I will use anything I can find, up to and including lipstick, when taking notes fast. It is as far as you know. I had to raid the fridge and write out my notes in mustard after getting an important phone call. I would have had to break into the sauce if the caller had been more persistent.
There is another character.
Got another beautiful sketch from elusive artist Bill Eldridge who has been chronicling my many misadventures since Hector was a pup. A great and only slightly twisted caricaturist, is Bill. This time, he’s created a sketch of my recent attempts to catch a bat that flew into my house. In “Saga of a Bat Hunter,” Bill correctly includes the broken knickknacks, frightened house plants and impromptu safety gear that was involved in the fray. He also painted my toenails red and blue in this one. I wasn’t wearing toenail polish that night, I swear. But now that I see how dazzling it looks on me . . . Bill just gets me, man.
I am not a fan of them odds.
I hate it. There are no tags on the t-shirts. For the rest of the shirt’s life, you have to pull it on with a 50% chance that it’ll be backwards. Who can tolerate this type of stress?
Get out of the way!
There is a new workout area at Simard-Payne Memorial Park. A scrawny, bedraggled dude, skinny as a string bean, shuffles up from the banks of the river. He was so bad by the time he got to the fitness court that he had to leave. I mean, arms and legs that could stop a bullet. He was 10 years younger and had different colored hair. It is a wonderful place.
0 Comments
filed under: